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We have had a dramatic couple of days with young master Archie. Glyn was visiting from L.A., and about two hours before we were going to take him to the airport, I managed to crush Archie’s thumb in the bathroom door, on the hinge side. It was messy, the nail was cut right across at the base and lots of blood. So off we went to A&E – poor Arch screaming his head off of course. We got seen pretty fast – due to all the screaming I’m sure – and he was given some morphine which calmed him down A LOT. In fact I have never seen him so relaxed at the hospital! Turned out his thumbnail was pretty much severed at the base, and there was a deep laceration as well. So we were referred to Hutt Hospital to the Plastics unit. Arch had surgery yesterday to stitch up the laceration, and also they reattached the thumbnail just to act as a guide for the new nail that will grow. He came out with a huge bandage up past his elbow! He recovered well from the anesthetic and was a very brave little boy. We were very exhausted as we went home, picked up Harry (thanks Max, Sophie & Helen for your childminding help!) and went to put the boys to bed at 8pm or so. Imagine our shock when Jan was pulling off Archie’s sling to get his pyjamas on, and the WHOLE BANDAGE came right off his arm, and the thumbnail was sticking up in the air again. So it was a mad dash to drop off Harry at Helen’s again and go back to A&E! The doctors decided it was not worth the risk of another general anesthetic to reattach the thumbnail, so now it is quite likely his thumbnail might grow back a bit wonky. He is all securely bandaged now and coping well with being one-armed for a while.

Phew!

Mothers-to-be Britney, Jordan and Demi will be queuing up for this year’s most in-demand celebrity plastic surgery package.

First off, the celebrity mother gets her silicone breast implants removed early in her pregnancy to prevent stretching, then when the baby is born (usually whipped out by caesarean at eight months to prevent the mother having to get too fat) new implants are put back, liposuction is done on the arse and thighs plus a full tummy tuck to get rid of all signs of pregnancy. The new mother keeps hidden from the public for about ten days while everything heals – which, of course, is not suspicious, as she’s just given birth.

Many private hospitals around the world now offer this as part of the birth package. Nursing staff at London’s celebrity-friendly Portland Hospital have an unofficial name for the package which honours, they claim, one of its earliest adopters.

They call it the… “Mend It Like Beckham”.

via Popbitch