Chuck Norris

// March 6th, 2006 // Internets

Chuck NorrisMax forwarded me an excellent email about Chuck Norris. Here are some highlights:

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds till.” After you ask, “Two seconds till what?” he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is “Charles”. Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

2 Responses to “Chuck Norris”

  1. Martha says:

    I’m pissing myself. That is the funniest thing I have ever read.

  2. hers says:

    He’s a real man alright.

    Very, very good!

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