Top 10 Reasons Against Gay Marriage

// February 2nd, 2006 // Gaysville

1. Being gay is not natural. And as you know Australians have always rejected unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalising gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because, as you know, a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in Australia.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

from Alex Day

5 Responses to “Top 10 Reasons Against Gay Marriage”

  1. Steph says:

    News from the bookosphere… Slightly off topic, but slightly not…

    Sarah Waters
    The New Zealand Book Council and Penguin Books (NZ) invite you to
    join us at 6.00pm on Wednesday 1 March, at St Andrew’s on The
    Terrace, Wellington.
    New Zealand Book Council members and GAP members are invited to join
    Sarah Waters for drinks and nibbles from 5.30pm to 6.00pm.
    The New Zealand Book Council is proud to present an event with UK writer
    Sarah Waters. Currently living in London, Waters will be visiting New Zealand
    to promote her latest novel, The Night Watch. Waters has had two of her
    books, Tipping the Velvet and Fingersmith, adapted for television. Her latest
    novel is set in the 1940s, stepping away from the Victorian setting of her
    previous novels. The Night Watch deals with wartime imprisonment,
    firefighting, estranged love, backstreet abortions and sexual tension.
    6.00pm, Wednesday 1 March 2006
    St Andrew’s on The Terrace, Wellington
    Event chaired by Lydia Wevers
    Book Council members $10.00
    GAP members $12.00
    Unwaged and students $12.00
    Non-members $15.00
    Event Bookseller – Unity Books

  2. emily says:

    Oh my god! That is so exciting – she is only my favourite writer EVER! (Hmm, predictable I guess) I’ll definitely be there if anyone wants to stalk me. Thanks Steph.

  3. Noo Noo says:

    Great to keep people up to date with bookosphere events, Steph. Gee I miss you guys. When is the wedding?

  4. Steph says:

    One week tomorrow! And one month off work, woo!

  5. roller derby says:

    Kool. I have just begun to learn to rollerblade on the K2 Raiders. When do you think I should progress to a real skate park? Oh, and This place rocks !!!. Kudos to you guys for the helpful advice.

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