“IN A MOVE many cynics are calling a blatant ploy to win the coveted ‘pink vote’, Mr Howard has surprisingly backflipped on his previous committment to ban gay marriage. Even more surprisingly, his change of heart is apparently linked to a burgeoning romance with Kirribilli plumber Mal Teameru, who was previously only considered a passing aquaintance of Mr Howard.”

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Thankyou ausculture for brightening up my dreary day with the latest goss on John’s raunchy love life.

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